5 Things You’re Doing to Cope That Are Actually Keeping You Stuck

Grief is relentless. It's heavy, unpredictable, and exhausting—and if you're anything like the women I work with, you're probably doing everything you can just to get through the day.

And hey… I get it. When your world’s been flipped upside down, you do what you need to survive.

But if you're finding yourself still feeling numb, stuck, or secretly wondering, “Why am I not better by now?”—this might be the reason:
Some of the things that feel like coping right now… might actually be keeping you from healing.

Not because you’re doing anything wrong.
Not because you’re broken.
But because grief doesn’t respond to avoidance the way we wish it would.

So let's gently unpack a few of these together—with zero shame and all the grace in the world.

1. Scrolling for hours to “turn your brain off”

We all need breaks. But let’s be real: sometimes the scroll becomes a full-on escape hatch.
You hop on Instagram or TikTok just to distract yourself for a second… and suddenly it’s 1am and you’re crying over a dog video or spiraling because everyone else seems “fine.”

Why it keeps you stuck:
Numbing out with screens can keep you disconnected from your real feelings—and that disconnection makes it harder to process what you're going through.

Try instead:
Give yourself short, intentional breaks—but set a time limit. Then journal for 5 minutes. Go for a short walk. Or just sit with yourself and breathe, even if it’s uncomfortable. You don’t have to fix it—just be present.

2. Staying busy 24/7 so you don’t have to think

Your calendar is packed. You’re volunteering, hosting, saying yes to everyone… all while feeling completely burned out.

Why it keeps you stuck:
Constant busyness is a form of emotional avoidance. It gives the illusion of moving forward—but it actually keeps you from facing what’s underneath the surface.

Try instead:
Practice saying no. Create pockets of stillness, even if it’s just 10 minutes a day. Use that time to check in with yourself instead of checking off another task.

3. Telling yourself to “just be strong”

You’ve probably heard it a hundred times: “You’re so strong.” And maybe part of you wears that like armor.
But here’s the truth: strength doesn’t mean pretending you’re okay when you’re not.

Why it keeps you stuck:
When you always “put on a brave face,” you push down the pain—and unspoken grief doesn’t go away. It just finds new ways to come out: anxiety, burnout, irritability, exhaustion.

Try instead:
Redefine what strength looks like. Sometimes strength is crying. Sometimes it’s asking for help. Sometimes it’s whispering “I’m not okay” and letting someone hold space for you.

4. Shaming yourself for “still” feeling this way

You know those thoughts:
“It’s been months, why am I still like this?”
“Other people have moved on—why can’t I?”

That internal shame spiral is brutal—and it’s one of the most common things I see keeping women stuck in grief.

Why it keeps you stuck:
Shame tells you that your pain is a problem to fix. But grief isn’t a problem. It’s a process. And your timeline is not a failure—it’s a reflection of your love.

Try instead:
Talk to yourself the way you’d talk to a friend. Replace “I should be over this” with “It makes sense I’m still feeling this.” Remind yourself: love doesn’t have a deadline. Neither does healing.

5. Believing you have to figure this out alone

This one cuts deep. So many women have told me they thought asking for help meant they weren’t strong enough… or that nobody would really get it anyway.

Why it keeps you stuck:
Isolation in grief feels safe at first—but over time, it becomes suffocating. When you carry this alone, you start to believe that your pain is too much, too weird, or too permanent.

Try instead:
Let someone in. It doesn’t have to be a crowd. Just one safe, supportive person who can sit with you without trying to fix you. (And yes—that can be a grief coach.)

You don’t have to do this alone. Really.

If anything here feels a little too familiar, I want you to know:
You’re not weak. You’re not failing.
You’re doing your best to survive something that changed everything.

But if you’re ready to move from surviving to gently healing—I’m here.

If facing your grief emotions feels to big and heavy to handle on your own—I’m here.

💬 Let’s talk.
My Pathway to Healing call is a safe, no-pressure space to explore what’s keeping you stuck—and how we can start creating a path forward, together.

👉 [Insert link to book the Pathway to Healing Call]
One small step. One deep breath. One choice to keep going.

You’re not meant to live in the pain forever.
Let’s figure out your next step—together.